Down with this sort of thing! Careful now! July 09 2014
Recognise that quote? Well you must be a fan of classic sitcom Father Ted! Good news then, as Tedfest is coming to London this weekend. The Friends of Ted Festival, or Ted Fest, is an annual fan convention usually held on the island of Inishmore, off the coast of County Galway, Ireland but this year it is also coming to the London Irish Centre in Camden. Tedfest London has plenty to offer fans including The Lovely Girls Contest, Ted's Got Talent, Priests vs Nuns 5-a-side football match, quiz, live music and much more. Rumour has it a couple of our panto horses may put in an appearance.......
If you're still unsure about getting a ticket, just think: what would Mrs Doyle say?
Here are our top 5 Father Ted episodes to get you in the mood.
5. The Old Grey Whistle Theft. When Benson the park keeper's whistle is stolen, Craggy Island is thrown into chaos and Dougal's new friend, Father Damo, proves to be a bad influence.
Father Dougal: God Ted, I've heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's going to come back and judge us all.
Father Ted: No...no Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism you're talking about there.
Father Dougal: Whole of this Catholic thing is a bit of a puzzler, isn't it Ted?
4. Are You Right There Father Ted? When Father Ted is mistakenly accused of being a racist.
Best quote: Father Ted: The chinese: a great bunch of lads
3. A Christmassy Ted So many memorable moments in this Christmas special - The Golden Cleric awards, Mrs Doyle sabotaging the teasmaid and of course the priests lost in the lingerie department whilst Christmas shopping.
"Dougal: God, I can't wait to see what's under tomorrow's window. I bet it's a donkey or something.
Father Ted': Really? So, you've changed from your initial prediction of... what was it again? "Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed." God, Dougal, where do you get these ideas from? I bet it's just a lovely angel. What would you say is behind tomorrow's window, Father Jack?
Father Jack: A PAIR OF FECKIN' WOMEN'S KNICKERS!!!"
2. Speed 3 A parody of the Speed films, this episode was voted the fans favourite during Channel 4's Father Ted night. Mrs Doyle has a crush on an evil milkman who eventually puts Father Dougal in grave danger.
Pat: You wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now Father? Would ya?
Father Ted: Yes I...no I...if you're going to be...I...of course you, you...JUST FECK OFF!
1. A Song For Europe Ted and Dougal decide to enter their song, My Lovely Horse, into the Song For Europe contest in the hope of triumphing over rival priest Father Dick Byrne. Did you know Neil Hannon of the Divine Comedy wrote and performed My Lovely Horse (as well as the Father Ted theme song?)
Lyrics to My Lovely Horse - My lovely lovely lovely horse. My lovely horse (my lovely horse), Running through the field (running through the field). Where are you going, With your fetlocks blowing In the wind? I want to shower you with sugarlumps. And ride you over fences. Polish your hooves every single day. And bring you to the horse dentist.
What are your favourite Father Ted moments?